If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize