I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
