We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
