I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
