I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
