Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
