is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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