Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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