I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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