Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
