Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize