If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
