if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
