he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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