Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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