He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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