The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
