"it" just moved
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
