You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
