He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
