the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
