Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
