apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
