I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
