Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
