Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
