I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She said her name was "party"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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