found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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