so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
