Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
