I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
