you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Randomize
