Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
