you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
