hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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