There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
