I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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