I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize