I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
