literally had 100 drinks last night.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
