They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize