Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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