I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
