I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
