He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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