Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
