Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
