You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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