At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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