Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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