We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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