My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We need to rekindle our bromance
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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