3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
