Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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