That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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