I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
