(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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