kristin has been a bad kristin
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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