the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
