nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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