uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
