If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize