she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
