Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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