Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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